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The Chinese Herbalist

line The Chinese Herbalist

A man with an embarrassing condition walks into a bar one day, sad and depressed. He orders a shot, then another, and then another. Finally, the bartender asks him “hey, what’s wrong buddy?”. The man replies, “I’ve got this really embarrassing condition, and no doctor has ever been able to figure out how to cure it”. The bartender says “well, why don’t you tell me about it?”.

“Ok”, says the man, “you see…..whenever I fart, it comes out HONNNNNDA!!!”. I’ve tried everything; changed my diet, stopped drinking beer and eating beans…everything!”.

The bartender says “have you tried Chinese herbal medicine?”.

“No”, says the man, incredulous but nonetheless interested.

“Well”, says the bartender, “there’s a Chinese herbalist right around the corner; it wouldn’t hurt to give him a shot”.

So, the man goes to see the Chinese herbalist and tells him all about his problem. “Ahhh…very interesting problem but I think I know what is wrong”, says the herbalist, “you have an abscess in your tooth and you must go to the dentist”.

Well, the man hasn’t seen a dentist in years and is reluctant to go, but he decides he has to do something about his farts. After his exam, the dentist informs him that,  yes indeed,  he has an abscess. The dentist performs the surgery to fix the abscess, and the man’s farts return to normal. “This is miraculous!”, thinks the man. He goes back to the herbalist to find out how he could possibly know that he had an abscess. “Ah…” says the herbalist”, “ancient Chinese proverb! Abscess make the fart go honda!”.